The Wave.

I was wondering how many times a person can give up. I mean, I've given up a lot... and yet somehow I always manage to make it through. I was talking with a friend one day and I came up with this analogy:

I ride the wave. I get up on the wave, and I don't do much of anything, except ride it. Sometimes I'll do what I need to so that I don't get pulled underneath the wave, and sometimes, I wont do anything. And then I'll get pulled under. The wave will engulf me and suck me under, and bring me to the bottom of the ocean floor. And there I will be floundering and flapping my arms, trying to find a breath of fresh air. but there is none to find. And then I succumb to the water. I just let go, and accept the fact that I am going to drown, the fact that this water will fill my lungs and sufocate me. And it's in that moment, the moment that I relax that I begin to rise to really fall. I slip down to the very bottom and rest there for what seems like an eternity. And then, slowly I begin to rise.... I make my way up through all that water, to where it meets the air, and I float. I float and breath. Then, look out -- here comes another wave.

I was just thinking that at this moment right now... I am either still floundering or I've given up. I'm thinking I'm floundering because my Bible is open on my lap, and I ain't even reading it! I mean, I am, but it just doesn't seem to sink in, it doesn't mean anything. I can't wrap my head around it and get it to make sense.

So I feel helpless. I feel like I need a lifeguard to come, swim down to the bottom of that ocean, and scoop me up, bring me to the surface faster. Now... I know the lifeguard is Jesus, and maybe he has actually already scooped me up, and in my panic to be saved, I'm pushing him away, i'm flailing my arms and smacking him in the face, and panicing... you know how a person panics when someone is trying to save them, and they are about to drown... that's me at the moment, perhaps.

Anyways, just some thoughts. Interesting.