Is he reading me like a book?

God, he's been reading my mind again. He knows what goes on in my head, in my heart. What did you tell him God? Are you using him to speak to me, cause it sure seems like it. This man. This man I've met once. How can he see things so clearly from so far away, and when I look all i see is mud and dirt, and scars? How can he dig right into my heart and just touch on the bad stuff... pointing it out, helping me see what I've tried to put out of my mind? How do I get him to stop? How do I get him to continue?

I disgust myself
Actions speak louder than words.
And my actions disgust me
My words are calm
And full of wisdom
My actions are loud
And full of vulgarity
The two cannot coexist
Just as
One cannot serve two masters
So my actions
And my words
Are not both me
It is painfully clear
Who I am
And it is not
Who I telly ou I am
I am me
Just watch my actions.





GAR! Can I be any further from where I want to be? Can I burrow any further into this pit? Can I ever crawl out? No. This is where I must stay. Stay as a punishment, until I learn what I need to know. Perhaps death shall open it's jaws to me this time?