How am I?

Putty. Thats what it is. I mean, sometimes I think my heart is so fragile that the slightest bump, and it will break. It will never be whole again. The truth is, it is putty. My heart has been bumped, tossed, kicked, sat on, thrown away, left for dead so many times that it now seems almost indestructable. I mean, of course it still bruises and hurts. But it is still whole, or mostly whole. I won't deny that chunks have been taken out of it, given to certain people, and never given back. Of course, most of those chunks I don't want back.
Someone asked me how I was. "How are you" they said. Sometimes I think people really need to think before they speak. Here is what I answered: Pumped, wired, sleepless, dreading school, scared stiff, wallowing in sorrow, laughing for joy... completly totally and utterly mixed up, and loving every minute of it
I am happy to say I've found a friend. I mean, for sure we aren't kindred spirits or anything (those don't exist :p) But she said she would let me know when there are shows and stuff. That's all I ask. I think I've found a passion of sorts. I love the noise of a show. The beat of the drumb, the loud twange of the guitar, the thumping of the bass, the screams of the singer. I mean, there is someplace you can totally go to wallow in your pain, get it off your chest, recover from the ordeal, and leave feeling so pumped and wired. I mean, when your pain returns it's almost worse, but hey, for those few minutes... those few hours. And I just had a revelation revealed to me. Oh, this is good. Alcohol. Hmmm.
Well, I'm still way wired and cannot sleep. Have a great... day everyone :D


*This blog was also posted on my space. But because I am feeling lazy, and without words, I figured it would be good enough for here too. Besides, I don't know anyone here :P And none of them are on myspace... so it's all good